BILLIONAIRE Hired POOR Waitress As His Bodyguard After ASSASSINATION She Became His… – Ty

HEY, ROMEO. WAKE UP, SLEEPING BEAUTY. YOUR ACT IS GETTING OLD. YOU HAVE GOT COMPANY AND they do not look friendly. THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER. WAKE UP.  WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?  YOUR worst nightmare.  Ah, [ __ ]  Oh. So, that is what these do. Loud. BRING IT ON. I HAVE GOT MORE BULLETS AND BETTER AIM.

And I am shorter, so I am harder to hit. That is for making me ruin MY JACKET. IT WAS VINTAGE LEATHER.  Who are you? Why did you Why would you  Name is Mika. And I am your new best friend. Get in and drive. Unless you want to be here when their back up arrives.  But  Now. Start the car.  You just killed four men.

Self-defense. First time holding one of these, actually. Not as heavy as I expected. Kind of empowering.  You are insane.  Probably. But you are alive, so focus on the positive. Why were those guys trying to turn you into Swiss cheese, anyway? Nice car, by the way. Bulletproof?  No. And yes, they want me dead.

Obviously. How many were there? Six, eight, and you are alone? No bodyguards? What were they all on coffee break, or did they forget to set their protect-a-billionaire alarm?  They were my bodyguards. Or they were supposed to be.  Tough break, rich boy. Sounds like you need better help. The kind that does not switch sides mid-fight.

I do not know who to trust anymore.  Trust me. I just saved your life. That buys me at least 5 minutes of credibility. Now, drive. Your mansion, right? Let us get you somewhere with walls. Thick ones. Where is your security? Do not tell me they are all dead, too.  I sent them home. I could not trust them.

If my own bodyguards are trying to kill me, what good are guards?  That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. But also kind of brave. Stupid-brave, my favorite kind.  Mr. Peralta! Oh my lord, WHAT HAPPENED? YOU ARE BLEEDING!  I am fine, Mrs. Higgins. Just a scratch.  That is not a scratch. That is a gash.

Mrs. Higgins, first aid kit, now. And maybe some whiskey for medicinal purposes.  I do not drink whiskey.  It is for me. Watching you bleed is making me nervous. HOLD STILL.  OW!  That is the point. Pain means you are alive. Be grateful, and stop squirming. You are worse than a toddler.  You are enjoying this.

Maybe a little. I have always wanted to play doctor. Though I pictured it differently, with less blood and more candy.  You have stitched people up?  Metaphorically. Mostly I just apply pressure and hope for the best. There. Good as new. You will have a scar, but scars are sexy. Chicks dig scars.  I am not trying to impress chicks.

You should be. You are rich, you are handsome, and now you are battle wounded. That is a triple threat.  You called me handsome.  I call it like I see it. Does not mean I like you. It means I am observant.  I’ll see to the tea and biscuits.  Nice place. You rich?  Yes.  That is why they want you dead.

Money makes people crazy. My neighbor once stabbed a guy over a $5 bet on a horse race.  It is not just the money. It is the inheritance. My grandfather left me 80% of the Peralta fortune. My cousin Grant wants it, and he wants me dead so he can get it.  Classic. Rich people problems. Meanwhile, I am over here worrying about whether I can afford name brand cereal.

I worked for this. I built Peralta Industries from scratch. I did not ask for grandfather’s money. But I will not let Grant destroy everything.  I get it. Family sucks sometimes. My uncle once stole my TV and sold it for gambling money. We all have our crosses to bear.  I want to hire you.  Hire me? For what? Washing dishes? Because I should warn you, I am terrible at folding napkins.

As my bodyguard, personal protection, full-time, live-in, name your price.  Are you serious?  Dead serious. You just saved my life. You fought four armed men without hesitation. You are exactly what I need.  But I am I am 5’2. I weigh nothing. I shop in the kids section sometimes.  You are a warrior.

Size does not matter. I have seen enough action movies to know that.  Action movies are not real life, rich boy.  Tonight was real life. And you were the only real thing in it. So, what do you say?  Yes. Absolutely yes. When do I start?  Tonight. Stay here. I will have Mrs. Higgins prepare a room.  And the salary?  Name your price.

10,000 a month.  Done.  Done? Just like that? YOU DID NOT EVEN NEGOTIATE.  My life is worth more than 10,000 a month. You are getting a raise in 3 months if you keep me alive.  Deal. Mika Chen, your new personal nightmare.  Leonardo Peralta, your new grateful employer.  5’2 and Doc Martens black.

Old man swung a 2 by 4, I swung it back. Rusty pipe kissed his kneecap, heard it crack. “Silly loud bastard.” That’s exactly what I said. Still splashing through the puddle, left him for the feds. Bubble gum popping, hands above my head. 5’2  I could get used to this. But first, I have unfinished business.

Home don’t run it. Made me miss my bus. 3 miles on wet leather. Now he going first. Tackle him against [music and singing] the steel. Twisted his ear. $200 boots? You going to hear me clear.  Mika, you’re late. And you look different. Is that a designer jacket?  Resignation letter, effective immediately. I’m done, Mr. K.

Done with the grease, done with the customers, done with the minimum wage.  Mika, you can’t just  I can and I am. It’s been real. It’s been fun. It’s been real fun. But I’ve got a new job. Better pay, better hours, better everything.  What kind of job?  Personal protection for a very important person.  You’re a bouncer now?  Something like that.

Waitress, water, and make it quick this time.  Your water, ma’am.  About time.  Oh, no. I’m so clumsy. How terrible. I’m so sorry.  NO, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE. YOU’RE FIRED. FIRED.  Can’t fire me. I already quit. Lucky you. Lucky me. Bye-bye, Mrs. Vander Camp. Enjoy your dry cleaning bill.  Mika, COME BACK. WE NEED YOU.

NO, you don’t. You need a raise and a better class of customer. Good luck, Mr. K.   You’re the bodyguard? You?  Me. Problem?  You’re tiny.  I’ve got house plants bigger than you. I’ve got house plants with better manners than you. But here we are.  Ms. DeMello, Mika is my new head of security.

Treat her with respect. She’s already saved my life once.  Once? That’s not a very good track record for a bodyguard. Shouldn’t you have prevented the attack entirely?  I wasn’t hired yet. Give me time. I’ll get better. I’m a fast learner.  She’s good, Ms. Mela, really good. Don’t doubt her.  Fine. But if he dies, I’m blaming you.

And I’ll sue your estate.  Jokes on you. I don’t have an estate. I have a shoe box of expired coupons and a lucky penny. She loves me. I can tell.  She’s protective. She’s been with me since I started the company.  I’m protective, too. The difference is I’ll break kneecaps. She’ll just file strongly worded memos.

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to either.  This is a joke, a bad joke. Your security is held together with duct tape and prayers.  I know. That’s why I hired you. Fix it.  I will. But it’s going to cost money.  Spend whatever you need. My life is worth it.  Flattery will get you everywhere. Wow. Your face is in every magazine.

Leonardo Peralta, the billionaire who built an empire. Leonardo Peralta, New York’s most eligible bachelor. Leonardo Peralta, why he won’t marry. You’re like a superhero without the cape.  I hate those articles. They make me sound arrogant.  You are arrogant, but in a cute way. Like a Chihuahua.  I’m not a Chihuahua.

No, you’re richer. And slightly less yappy. Hey, do you think my face would look good in a magazine?  Probably not Forbes. Maybe most likely to start a bar fight.  Excuse me? I’m gorgeous. I have cheekbones.  You have attitude. That’s not the same thing.  It’s better. Attitude lasts longer than cheekbones.

Ask any plastic surgeon.  [laughter]  What?  Nothing. You just look different when you laugh. Less like a robot, more like a human.  I am human.  Debatable. I’ve seen your schedule. No human sleeps 3 hours a night.  I sleep when I’m dead.  Not on my watch. You’re getting 8 hours tonight. I’ll sit on you if I have to.

That sounds uncomfortable.  For you? I’ll enjoy it. I’m going to check the perimeter. Don’t get kidnapped while I’m gone.  I’ll try.  I can’t keep pretending everything is fine. Mr. Peralta, your cousin, Mr. Grant Peralta, is in the lobby. He says it’s urgent.  Send him up. And Miss Demella, stay close.

Yes, sir. Grant? The one who wants you dead?  The very same. Act normal. Don’t let him know we’re suspicious.  Suspicious? He tried to kill you. I’m past suspicious. I’m at break his nose level.  Not yet. We need evidence.  Fine. But if he pulls a gun, I’m breaking something.  Well, well, my dear cousin.

And who is this lovely creature? Charmed. I’m Grant.  Mika, and I’m not lovely. I’m lethal.  Leonardo. You didn’t tell me you’d hired a lady guard. How progressive. How desperate.  She’s my new head of security. And she’s excellent.  Excellent?  [laughter]  She looks like she weighs 100 lb soaking wet.

What is she going to do? Throw her shoe at an assassin?  I could. And I’d aim for your teeth.  Feisty. I like that. Leonardo, you should let me hire your people. I know professionals, real professionals, not cocktail waitresses playing soldier.  I prefer Mr. Leonardo’s employment. Better benefits. Better boss.

Better moral compass.  I could pay double whatever he’s giving you. I’ll match it. And add a signing bonus.  Tempting, but I looked you up online. Grant Peralta, under investigation for securities fraud. Grant Peralta, tied to organized crime. You don’t have a moral compass. You don’t even have a map.  You have no idea who you’re dealing with, little girl.

She’s going to get you killed. Mark my words.  She’s going to keep me alive. Unlike your recommendations.  Well, good luck, cousin. You’ll need it.  He’s going to try something soon. I can smell it.  I know. That’s why I have you.  Flattery again?  Fact, and Mika, thank you for turning him down.  Anytime. Now, let’s go eat.

I’m starving, and your cousin ruined my appetite for rich people.  From the diner counter   Why does he hate you so much? I mean, really?  The inheritance grandfather left me 80% of everything. Grant got 10. The rest went to charity.  Ouch. 10% of a billion is still a lot.  It’s not about the money, it’s about pride.

Grant thinks he deserved it all. He thinks I stole it.  Did you?  No, I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want it. I have my own money. I built my own company. But grandfather saw something in Grant that he didn’t like. Greed, cruelty. He knew Grant would destroy the legacy, so he gave it to me.  And now Grant wants you so he can get it. Classic rich people drama.

Meanwhile, I’m over here worrying about whether I can afford Netflix and Spotify.  You don’t have to worry about money anymore. I pay you well.  You do. But old habits die hard. I still check my bank account every hour.  That’s adorable.  It’s pathetic. But thanks. We have company, two vehicles, tinted windows.

Probably not pizza delivery.  Grant.  Who else? Drive faster. And don’t look back.  They’re shooting!   I noticed. Keep driving. I’ll handle this.  One down, the The one’s still coming. One down. The other one’s still coming.  When did you learn to shoot like that?  YouTube, and a guy named Big Mike who runs a shooting range in Queens.

PERSISTENT BASTARDS. DAMN IT.  What are you doing? Get back in.  Trust me.  Mika!  [music and singing]  Open the door.  Are you insane? YOU COULD HAVE DIED.  BUT I DIDN’T, AND NEITHER did you. So, stop yelling and drive.  You jumped onto a moving car.  It was going 30 miles an hour.

I’ve jumped off worse.  Why did you save me? You could have died.  Because you’re my job. And because because I don’t want you to die. Is that okay?  More than okay.   We have phone records. Grant called the hitman three times before the ambush. We have bank transfers.  We have emails. It’s all circumstantial, but it’s getting stronger.

We need more. We need him to admit it. Or we need him to try again and catch him in the act.  That’s dangerous. You’re using yourself as bait.  I’m using Leonardo as bait. I’m the trap.  You’re crazy.  I’m committed. Grant tried to kill him twice. There will be a third time. There always is.  You care about him.

Not just as a job.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Yes, you do. I’ve known you 3 years, Mika. I’ve never seen you like this. You check your phone every 5 minutes. You smile when his name comes up. You’re in love.  I am not in love. I’m professionally attached.  That’s what I said when I met my wife.

Turns out I was lying to myself.   You’re back late.  I was shopping.  In Queens? At midnight?  I like the malls there. Less crowded.  You’re a terrible liar.  I’m an excellent liar. You’re just good at catching me.  Where were you?  Working with Ramos. Building a case against Grant.

We have evidence. Phone records, financial transactions. We’re close.  You didn’t tell me.  I didn’t want you to worry or try to stop me.  I wouldn’t have stopped you. I would have helped you.  You can’t help. You’re the victim. You can’t be involved. It compromises the case.  I don’t care about the case.

I care about you. If Grant finds out you’re working with the police  He won’t. I’m careful.  You’re reckless and brave and stupid and wonderful.  Wonderful?  Wonderful. Now go to bed. You look exhausted.  You look exhausted.  I am. But I’m less exhausted when you’re here.  Goodnight, Leonardo.  Goodnight, Mika.

Hello. Where is everyone?   Where is he? Where’s your precious boss?  I don’t know. He went to a meeting.  Liar. I know his schedule. He’s supposed to be here.  He left early.

HEY! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, YOU COWARD!  The lady guard. I was hoping you’d show up.  Where’s Leonardo?  Safe, for now. But, not for long. My men are tracking him. He’ll be dead by noon. And you, you’ll be dead in 5 minutes.  You tried. Twice. And I’m still here. What makes you think the third time will work?  Because this time, I’m doing it myself.

No more hired help. No more incompetent mercenaries. Just me, my gun, and your corpse. YOU [ __ ] I’LL KILL [screaming] YOU!   THREE DOWN. YOU’RE NEXT, GRANT. UH-UH. No touching.  You can’t win. I have more men. I have more money. I have  You have a bullet in your shoulder and a felony record waiting to happen.

Lieutenant Ramos is on his way, and he’s bringing handcuffs.  FREEZE! NYPD. NOBODY MOVE!  About time. I was running out of bullets.  You did this alone?  I had motivation.  You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.  THIS ISN’T OVER! I’LL GET OUT! I’LL FIND YOU! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!  YEAH. YEAH. Tell it to the judge.  NO. YOU CAN’T DO THIS.  ARE YOU OKAY? I am now. You saved me.  I did my job.  No. You did more than that. Thank you, Mika.  Where’s Leonardo?  He went to get coffee.

He wanted to surprise you. I was getting coffee for him. We missed each other.  Romantic.  Terrifying. But yes. Romantic.  What happened? Are you hurt?  I’m fine. Grant happened. Then I happened. Then Ramos happened. Grant’s in custody, the building’s secure, and you brought me coffee. You’re the best boss ever.

I was terrified. I saw the police cars. I thought  You thought I was dead?  I thought I’d lost you. And I realized something. Something I should have realized months ago.  What?  I love you.   I know that’s not professional. I know I’m your employer. I know this complicates everything. But I don’t care.

I love you, Mika Chen. From the moment I saw you fighting those men in the rain, I knew you were special. And every day since then, you’ve proven it. You’re brave. You’re funny. You’re impossible, and you’re mine. I want you to be mine.  You love me?  I love you. More than my company, more than my money, more than my life.

But I’m  I’m a mess. I’m violent. I eat too much fried chicken. I don’t own a dress. I don’t know which fork is for salad.  I don’t care. I don’t need you to know about forks. I need you to be you. The woman who saved my life, the woman who makes me laugh, the woman who sleeps with a gun under her pillow.

How did you know about that?  Mrs. Higgins told me. She thinks you’re adorable.  I’m not adorable. I’m terrifying.   You’re both, and I love both. So, what do you say? Can we try? Can we be us?  Yes. But if you break my heart, I’ll break your legs.  Fair enough.   This is crazy.  This is perfect.

This is going to be complicated.  Everything worth having is complicated. And you’re worth everything.  I’ll come back later. Much later.  Thanks, Miss DeMello.  [laughter]  Don’t thank me. Just don’t get married without inviting me.  We just started dating. I give it 6 months.  She’s wrong.

I give it three.  You’re insane.  I’m in love. Same thing.   Where is she? The judge is here. The guests are here. The cake is melting. Where is the bride?  She’ll be here. She’s preparing.  She’s probably putting on boxing gloves.  Probably.   You look amazing.  You look terrified.

I am terrified. I’m terrified of messing this up. Of losing you. Of waking up and finding out this was all a dream.  It’s not a dream.  I pinched myself earlier. It hurt. Therefore, real.  You pinched yourself at your own wedding?  I also punched a groomsman who tried to flirt with me. He’s fine.

Mostly.  You’re impossible.  I’m yours. And you’re mine. And that’s the only thing that matters.   I love you, Mika.  I love you, too, Leo.  You clean up nice, Chen. I didn’t know you owned a dress.  I don’t. Leonardo bought it and six others and shoes and a tiara.

I drew the line at the tiara.  You should have worn the tiara. You’d look like a warrior princess.  I am a warrior princess.  The precinct won’t be the same without your weekly reports and your creative use of violence.  Who says we’re done working together? Grant might be in prison, but there are always more bad guys.

And I still like breaking kneecaps. It’s my hobby.  Your hobby should be knitting or gardening. Something peaceful.  I tried knitting once. I made a scarf. Then I used it to strangle a mugger. True story.  You’re a menace, Mika Peralta. A beautiful, terrifying menace.  Thank you.

That’s the nicest thing anyone said to me today. And I’ve been called radiant 17 times.  Mika, you got married. You actually got married.  I did. To a billionaire. I’m still not sure how it happened.  It happened because you’re amazing and because he has excellent taste. And because you threatened to break his legs if he didn’t propose.

Didn’t you?  I did not threaten him. I implied.  Same result.  You’re married. And you look happy. Really happy for the first time since I’ve known you.  I am happy. It’s weird. Like wearing shoes that are too comfortable. I keep waiting for the pinch.  There is no pinch, only cake. Speaking of which, are you going to feed him cake or smash it in his face?  Smash it.

I’ve been practicing my aim.  That’s my girl. The photographer wants you for the first dance. And please, for the love of God, try not to punch anyone during the vows.  No promises. If Uncle Herbert grabs my butt again, he’s getting an elbow to the throat.  Uncle Herbert is 92.  Then he should know better.

May I have this dance, Mrs. Peralta?  You may. But if you step on my feet, I’m stepping on yours. With heels.  I’ll be careful.   You look beautiful.  You look terrified.  I’m terrified of messing this up. Of losing you. Of waking up and finding out this was all a dream.  It’s not a dream.

I love you, Mika.  I love you, too, Leo.  Now let’s cut that cake before I eat it with my bare hands.  Your wish is my command.  On three.  I knew you’d do that.  You married me. You knew what you were getting into.  I did. And I’d do it again. A thousand times.   Manuel, don’t eat the curtains.

He’s going to be a decorator. Or a demolition expert.  He’s going to be a handful, like his mother.  Heaven help us. One of you is enough. Two of you will destroy civilization.  Oh, stop it. You love it. You love it.  I do. I love both of you more than I thought possible.  [singing and music]  See? He agrees.

Leonardo.  Yes.  We’re going to need a bigger house.  What?  I’m pregnant again.  Really?  Really. I peed on three sticks, all positive. I’m either pregnant or the sticks are broken.  You’re pregnant. We’re pregnant again.  What? Oh my god!  I love you.  You’re not pregnant. I am.

You’re just the accomplice.  Best accomplice ever. We’re having another baby. Manuel’s going to be a big brother.  He’s 6 months old. He doesn’t even know he’s a person yet.  He’ll learn. And he’ll be the best big brother. Because he’ll have the best mother.  You’re getting sappy again.  I can’t help it.

You make me sappy. You and Manuel and this new baby. You make me everything I never thought I could be.  Happy?  Yes. Complete.  Manuel, come here, baby.  Mama. Baby sister.  Maybe. Could be a brother.  Sister. I want sister.  We’ll see. But no matter what, you have to promise me something.  Promise.  You have to protect your brother or sister.

Always. No matter what.   Even if they annoy you. Even if they break your toys. You protect them. Because that’s what family does.  Protect. Like mommy protects daddy.  Exactly. Like mommy protects daddy. And like you will protect your sibling. Can you do that?  Yes. I promise.

I strong like mommy.  Are we making promises?  Manuel promised to protect the new baby.  That’s my boy. You’re going to be the best big brother. The strongest, the bravest, the kindest.  Kind? Let’s not set impossible standards.  [laughter]  He’ll be kind. Because he’ll learn from you.  Ow. This one has your temper.

Or your right hook.  [laughter]  Either way, we’re in trouble. Leonardo, it’s time.  What? What’s happening?  We have to go. Now.  NOW? ARE YOU SURE IT’S  Call Mrs. Higgins. Wake Manuel. Get the car now.  MRS. HIGGINS! MRS. HIGGINS!  I’m right here, Mr. Peralta. I’ve called the driver. The car is warm.

I’ve packed a bag, and I’ve called the hospital.  You’re a miracle worker. Easy now, I’ve got you. All set back there?  Mommy okay?  Mommy’s fine. Mommy’s just working.  Working?  Hard work. Very hard work.  Breathe. Remember the classes. He he hoo. He hoo.  [sighs and panting]  If you he he hoo one more time, I’ll he he hit you.

Right. No more he he hoo.  I can walk. I’m pregnant, not paralyzed.  Ma’am, please.  Don’t ma’am me. I know 17 ways to  Mika, the wheelchair, please. For me.  Fine. But I’m only doing this because you asked nicely.  You’re fully dilated. This is going to be fast.  Fast is good.

Fast means less time for me to curse.  You can curse all you want. I’ve heard worse. Push.  I am pushing. I’m pushing so hard I might launch this baby into next week.  You’re doing great, Mika. Breathe.  [gasps]  Almost there, honey. You’re so strong.  One more!  [screaming]  It’s a girl.  Sister! I have sister!  Hello, my perfect little one.

Hello, baby girl. Welcome to the world. It’s crazy here, but you’ll love it.  What should we name her?  Isabella. After my mother.  Isabella Peralta. It’s perfect.  She’s perfect. And she’s ours.  Again, block high. I keep hitting your head.  hitting my head. You’re aiming for it.  Semantics.  Combat.

How do you do that? You’re half my size.  Physics. And mom’s secret technique. She calls it use their weight against them.   Also known as throw them like a sack of potatoes.  I hate potatoes.  Come on, get up.  All right, I’m coming. They’re good. Really good.  They’re better than good.

They’re dangerous, and I love it.  Do you ever regret teaching them? Do you wish they chosen piano instead of punching?  Never. The world is still dangerous. Grant’s in prison, but there are others, and I want them to be ready.  How can they survive this?  I want them to protect themselves. And each other.  They will.

They have your spirit.  And your money. Which also helps.  Money can’t buy happiness.  But it can buy good security systems and fried chicken, which is basically the same thing.  Perimeter breach. West wall. Multiple intruders.  Leonardo! LEONARDO! LEONARDO!  I heard. I’m coming. Mom, armed men, six of them, coming over the west wall.

What? Are you sure?  Everyone stay calm.  Weapons? Automatic rifles, tactical gear, professional.  Grant’s people?  Grant’s dead. He died in prison 2 years ago. This is someone else. Someone new.   We fight. Manuel, get the shotgun from the hall closet. Isabella, grab the Glock from my nightstand.

Leonardo, call the police and stay behind me.  I’m not staying behind you. I’m fighting with you.  You don’t know how to fight.  I’ve been training for 15 years. I know enough.  Fine. But don’t die. I just bought you a birthday present.  I won’t die.  Manuel, left flank! Get the rifle. BREAK HIS ARM.

[screaming]  GOT HIM!  THREE DOWN. You picked the wrong house. This is the Peralta estate. We don’t call 911. WE CALL THE CORONER. MANUEL, NO! HANDS DOWN. I WIN. You threw my gun?  You said no shooting in the house. I listened. Is everyone okay?  We’re fine. Six intruders, all neutralized, no casualties on our side.

They were after the art collection, had a list, paintings, sculptures. Amateurs. Professional gear, amateur plan.  They didn’t know who lived here. If they did, they wouldn’t have come.  You guys, you grew up just like your mom, strong, incredible, and slightly terrifying.  We learned from the best.

The very best.  We did good.  We did amazing. And we’re not done yet.  So, let me get this straight. Six armed men broke into your home. Your 16-year-old son threw a gun at one of them. Your 14-year-old daughter pinned another to the ground. And you, Mrs. Peralta, shot two and kicked one in the throat all before the police arrived.

That’s correct. Would you like a cookie? They’re fresh.  I’m on duty.  Suit yourself, but the cookies are chocolate chip and they’re amazing.  I know. Mrs. Higgins is a wizard.  They really are.  Mrs. Higgins?  Our housekeeper, and our security consultant, and our cookie specialist.  She’s also a black belt in karate, but we don’t talk about that.

were part of a European art theft ring. They’d been tracking your collection for months. They didn’t know who lived here. They thought it was just a rich family with no security.  They were wrong, very wrong. They’ll be in prison for a very long time. And your family, your family’s something else.  Thank you.

I wasn’t complimenting you. I was stating a fact. I’ve never seen a family fight like that. It was like watching a movie.  We don’t watch movies, we live them.  Isabella, don’t scare the detective.  I’m not scared. I’m impressed and slightly terrified.  Join the club. I’ve been terrified for 16 years.

Mom, can I go to the court? The police said it’s clear.  Go, but take your sister, and your phone, and your taser.  I don’t have a taser.  You do now. It’s in your backpack. Don’t use it on your sister.  No promises.  You have an unusual family, Mrs. Peralta.  I have a strong family, and that’s not unusual, that’s necessary.

If you ever need a job, the NYPD could use someone like you.  I have a job. I’m a wife, a mother, a protector, and occasionally a cookie taster.  Lucky man.  Luckiest man alive. Are we okay?  We’re always okay because we’re together and because we fight and because we love each other more than anything.

Even more than fried chicken?  Don’t push it. Fried chicken is a close second.   Okay, everyone, big smiles. Mr. Peralta, please put your hand on Mrs. Peralta’s shoulder. Mrs. Peralta, please lower your fist. This is a portrait, not a mug shot.  I always keep my fist ready. It’s a habit.  It’s intimidating.

Good. Intimidation is my resting face.  Mom, please. We want a nice picture for the mantel.  Fine. But if anyone jumps out of the bushes, I’m throwing Tyler at them.   Please don’t throw me.  No promises.  Everyone ready?  Ready.  On three. 1 2 3.  [snorts]  Can we see it?  Of course. Here.

It’s perfect.  You’re perfect.  We’re perfect together, always.  Always.