I MARRIED MY MOTHER’S ENEMY

I’m telling you what I told him. Adauko does not share canopy with that woman. I don’t care if the wedding is on the moon. The girl herself, I have nothing against the girl, but her mother God forbid. Bookie, I have prayed about this. I have fasted. I have asked God to give me peace about this wedding. He has not given me peace.

Two women, same neighborhood, same evening, same outrage. And somewhere between their two houses,  their children were in love and had no idea they were building a house on top of a land mine. This is a modern Naija story. So, I need to tell you something about my mother. Emeka, everyone has something to tell me about their mother.

 No, this is a specific something. Okay, tell me. She knows your mother. Knows her how? They grew up on the same street in Surulere before we were born. That’s That could be fine. That could be lovely, actually. They haven’t spoken in 23 years. 23 years? Yes. Since before I was born. Technically, you were about five. Emeka, what did they fight about? I have asked this question my entire life.

My mother looks at me like I asked her to summarize the book of Revelation and says, You wouldn’t understand. Every single time. Have you asked your aunties? My auntie Chioma said it was about a dress. A dress? My auntie Peace said it was about a man. A man? My uncle Kingsley said it was about a borrowed pot that was returned with a crack in it.

A pot? A big pot, apparently. Emeka, yes. I love you very much. I love you, too. This is going to be a problem, isn’t it? Define problem. Emeka, it’s going to be a significant problem, yes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just Of all the women in Lagos, your mother’s enemy’s daughter, you fell in love with your mother’s enemy’s daughter.

I didn’t know until 3 months into the relationship. When did you find out? When I mentioned Bookie’s surname to my mother, she went very quiet. You know the quiet she does. The quiet that’s louder than shouting. She said, “Adegoke?” “Adegoke from Surulere?” And I said, “Yes.” And she put down her fork and she said, God is testing me.

 [laughter] Okay. Okay. What does Bookie say? Bookie is calm. She has a plan. A plan? That woman always has a plan, and it usually works. What’s the plan? We haven’t fully stress tested the plan.   What is the plan, Emeka? We tell them on the same day, at the same time, in a controlled environment.   A controlled? You want to put Mama Emeka and Mama Bookie in the same room before the wedding?   No.

 No, that is specifically what we are not doing. Same day. And if one of them calls the other? They haven’t spoken in 23 years, Olu. They will speak in 23 seconds if this goes wrong. Do you have a better idea? I have zero ideas. I’m just here for documentation purposes.   Talk. Your face has been doing something for 3 weeks. I’m going to propose to Bookie.

Mhm. She’s the one, Mama. I know it. Her mother and I have history. I know. You know nothing. You just know we have history. Mama, Emeka is going to propose. Blood of Jesus. I will come to your wedding. I will smile. I will dance. But I will not sit near that woman. And I will not share serving spoon with her. Mommy, what happened between you two? It’s complicated, my dear.

 Some old wounds. Talk to me about the mothers again. They can’t be within four tables of each other. They can’t have line of sight. They can’t share a server. I have planned weddings where the groom’s ex-wife and current wife were both in attendance. I have planned a wedding where the family refused to invite the father, but the father showed up anyway in an agbada.

I once managed a reception where two different pastors arrived believing they were the lead officiant. What happened? Oh my gosh. There were two sermons. It was long, but everyone ate. We will handle this. The plan was simple. Mama Emeka will be seated on the left, front row, family section, facing the altar.

Mama Bookie on the right, equally front, equally prominent, four columns of flower arrangements between them. They would not see each other until the reception, by which time the ceremony would have softened everyone. The plan did not survive first contact. Marriage is not just the joining of two people.

It is the joining of two histories, two families, two stories that God, in his infinite creativity, has decided belong in the same chapter. When I look at this couple, I see what is possible when young people choose love in spite of complicated legacies. Tonight, the city lights are shining just for you. Two hearts, one promise.

 Through every storm, through every year, love kept whispering, “I am here.” Tonight, the city lights are shining just for you. Two hearts, one promise, finally coming true. You look absolutely radiant. Folake. Ada, your gele is very fine. Yours, also. Bookie, here is some rice.

Thank you, Mama Emeka. You are welcome. Eat well. And just when the ceremony had softened every heart in the room, the celebration took another turn. The vows were done. The music was louder. And somewhere between the photographs and the first plate of jollof rice, destiny was preparing its next small surprise.

She’s so peaceful. Our little gift. She’s perfect. She is. She’s settling in so well. She looks like you. The baby? Yes, same eyes. Same stubborn chin. Imagine carrying a grudge for years all because of a cracked cast iron pot. And then one day you laugh. Just like that, it ends. [laughter] Are they laughing? The thing that divides us is almost never what we think it is.

just like your mother’s recipe. Thank you. It feels good to cook for family. almost always love. Waiting patiently. A grandchild did what 23 years could not. It gave them a reason to stand on the same side. This was a modern Naija story. Thanks for watching.