No Celebrity Has ZERO Filter Like JOHN WAYNE – and It’s HILARIOUS!

No Celebrity Has ZERO Filter Like JOHN WAYNE – and It’s HILARIOUS! 

Nobody in Hollywood ever filled a room quite like John Wayne. These are the moments his plain talk, old school manners, and quiet decency surprised everyone who thought they had him figured out.  Next picture I did four songs and played a guitar.  So, you were the first singing cowboy, huh?  Well, I’ll have to confess there was three of us.

 There was me, there was a fellow that dubbed my voice, and there was a fellow playing the guitar. I was really a trio.  You mean it was somebody else’s voice and you never sang at all?  Only once, when they wanted to stampede the cattle.  Oh.  Clint Eastwood tells this one. Don Siegel was directing Wayne, asked him for a simple shot, and hit a wall he never saw coming.

 Uh your character was, I think, the first movie character, really, who didn’t wait for the the other guy to draw his gun.  Yeah, but it doesn’t make sense. Why would you wait for somebody to draw? Yeah, American Westerns, I I never could understand that. And uh I I remember Don Siegel got in in trouble when he was doing a film called The Shootist uh some years later, and he was working with John Wayne, the the villain gets sneaks around the room, and John Wayne comes up behind him, and he says, “Then you shoot him.”

And they said there was a long pause, and he said, John Wayne said, “You mean I shoot him in the back?” And he says, “Yeah, yeah, you shoot him. Just shoot him. Get rid of him because you got four of the guys He says, “I don’t shoot anyone in the back.”  And Don made a terrible error. He said, “Clint Eastwood would have shot  him in the back.

” And he said, Wayne Wayne turned blue. And he said, “I don’t care what that kid would have done. I don’t shoot him in the Michael Caine had just made Alfie when a helicopter landed at the Beverly Hills Hotel. What walked out of it gave him three rules he never forgot.  One day a helicopter landed, and all the flowers went up in the beds outside up in the air and in walked John Wayne in a complete cowboy outfit.

 You know, just like that. Look. Look.  Just like that. And and he he was registering in the Beverly Hills Hotel and he looked up and he saw me in the corner and he said to me, “What’s your name, kid?” I said, “Michael Caine.” He said, “You were in that movie Alfie?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “I saw that.” He said, “You’re going to be a star, kid.

” I said, “Oh, thank you, sir.” And he said, “But let me give you some advice.” He said, “Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too effing much.”  And I had on suede shoes. And he said to me, Have you got them? Yeah.  He said, he said, “Never never wear suede shoes, kid.” So I said, “What?” He said, “Never wear suede shoes.

” So I said, “Why?” He said, “Cuz I just told you you’re going to be a star, kid.” He said, “And you’re going to be in the gents toilet taking a pee.” He said, “And the guy next to you is going to be taking a pee. He’s going to look and he’s going, ‘MICHAEL CAINE.'”  AND THEN HE’S GOING TO PEE ALL OVER YOUR SHOE.

 IN THE Quiet Man, Wayne had to drag Maureen O’Hara across a field. John Ford made sure that field was properly prepared first.  Now, there was one one day working on The Quiet Man that they had put the sheep manure all down on the ground for Duke to drag me through it, pardon me.

 And the gang that sort of were on my side would kick it out of the way all the time. And then Duke and Pappy Ford or John Ford would come in and they’d kick it back in. And finally, of course, they won and I was dragged on my stomach right through this delicious stuff. And then they left instructions that I was to get no water, no towels, and nothing.

 And I stayed in that mess all day long. And that night, the wardrobe woman tried to clean my skirt. And when she hit it with a steam iron, the came up. She opened the window and she threw the skirt out, and it’s still there out the window’s window.  James Caan was 22 and terrified of him. Then he worked out that the biggest man on the set was really a 12-year-old with a chessboard.

 I just like a kid, you know, I was 22. You know, he was he was like a 12-year-old kid. If he could intimidate you, he’d stay on me, you know. One day I just couldn’t take it anymore. I went back at him, and then from that time on, then we had, you know, he he was funny. I mean, you know, I he made me, you know, it was nobody else around.

 I began to play chess with one another. And there’d be a phone call, and I’d go in front, I’d come back, and a piece I said, “Hey, man, there was that rook was over here.” “The hell it was. It was over here.” And you know, he’d cheat. He [laughter] was he was pretty funny, you know. And then I’d get out and the way he had like intimidated me at first, when I was off camera and there was old Howard Hawks, we called coach, you know.

And I’d get off I was off camera and he right in the middle of the scene and I’d go, “Stink.” You know. And he’d start laughing, and then Hawks would say, “What’s the matter, Duke?” “Ah, nothing, you know.”  The pranks never stopped. One lunchtime, Caan came back from the set and found his dressing room door wouldn’t open.

 He starts walking back and he goes, “Now, look at kid.” And I turn around and Mitchum Grant I was going to hit him. And from that day we were like, you know, if he just he knew what he was doing, you know, he just was having a good time at my expense. But it turned out I’d be off camera, right? I’d be off camera after a while, and but he now, as a week went by, you know, like he I’d be off camera and Hawks would be next to me and and Duke would be, you know, sitting there in the camera right in the middle

of my scene I’d go, “Stink.” Right? And he’d laugh and Uh Duke, what’s what’s the matter there? He’d say, “Ah, nothing, Pappy. Uh sorry. It’s, you know.” And you know, it just became just see who could screw up who. You know, like one day they had You remember those wooden dressing rooms they had? I come to lunch and my dressing room’s locked.

 I go, “Excuse me, guys, what How come it’s locked? I can’t get in there.” “Well, here’s the key.” Garbage just came out. He just piled it with garbage. He was like a 12-year-old kid, you know? But this is more about Rickles, who in some way is a 12-year-old kid himself.  Kirk Douglas made picture after picture with him and agreed with him on almost nothing.

 Ask about Wayne the professional and the answer never changed.  I don’t want to get involved in a conversation on John Wayne. I’ve made quite a few pictures with John Wayne. And by the way, I’ve always called him John. Everybody calls him Duke. We have never seen eye to eye on a lot of things. But professionally, I think he’s one of the most professional actors I’ve ever worked with. Oh yeah, he is.

 [applause]  And I’ve worked, I don’t know about four or five pictures with him. The last one I did was War Wagon. We worked in Harm’s Way, in Cast a Giant Shadow, which was a picture done in Israel. Wayne was the one who set it up. Wayne is the one who called me in London. He said, “Hey Kirk, think there’s a part you ought to play.

” So, we have never  Whenever we work in a picture, we rarely maybe we’ll have dinner together one night during the whole picture. But we get along very well. We never discuss politics.  But he’s the first guy on the set. He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever worked with. And I think he’s quite a character.

 Mark Rydell didn’t want him for The Cowboys at all. He flew to Mexico expecting the worst. He came back saying almost exactly what Kirk Douglas said.  Well, you know, he was a lesson to me. I didn’t want him for my picture, The Cowboys. I wanted George Scott. The studio really cuz I I The reason I didn’t want him is I knew him to be a right-wing We were antithetical human beings, polar opposites in every possible way.

But I must tell you that he seduced me in a way that was remarkable. I I flew to to Mexico where he was shooting a picture. He really wanted to do The Cowboys. He treated me with the most respect. I was like this, waiting for him to say something anti-Semitic or anti-Indian, or anti-anything.

 I was ready to jump on him. But, uh he was he taught me a lesson, you know. I I I know a lot of people with whom I agree politically and otherwise who are jerks. And then you take someone like him who I disagreed with in almost every area except art. And he was a terrific person. The first guy on the set, the last person to leave. The picture was full of kids.

They climbed on him like a monkey bar in a playground. He was available to everybody. He We went out to dinner, he would sign autographs for everybody. He never was unfair or unpleasant. And it was a big lesson to me not to to prejudge.  Wayne believed a movie star owed the audience something.

 Kirk Douglas found out how much when he screened Lust for Life for him.  Would Would John Wayne think you were kind of a for being a man of letters, do you think, your old buddy?  Oh, god, yes. I mean, he thought I was a  He was very very He was very very disappointed in me cuz we did four movies together. He was very disappointed in me when I did played Van Gogh in Lust for Life.

 We had a private showing of it. Geez, after that he looked at me, “Kirk,” he says, “how can you play a sniveling weakling who commits suicide?”  Yeah.  I tried to tell him, “John, I’m you know, I’m an actor. I’m trying to play a character.” “No,” he says, “we’ve got an image to maintain for the public.”  For all the toughness, ask John Wayne who the great one was, and he doesn’t talk about himself at all.

 He talks about John Ford.  I think few people would be as qualified as you to talk about directors in the business because you have worked with the best starting with one who I think ranks above all the others, and that’s John Ford. What [music] was it?  I didn’t start with him. I started with Raoul Walsh.  Raoul Walsh, yeah.

 Yeah.  But it was Ford, I guess, who gave you your start.  Who gave my career a boost.  Yeah.  What set Ford apart to you?  I think that the two things. One, that I think he would have been the finest painter in the country because uh he knew his paints, his people, his uh compositions were all magnificent.

And I think he would have been and he is probably as great a director as I know. He can take a long scene. In his early days he had great patience with writers. He would make them write a scene one way and he’d say, “No, I’d like to get that.” And make him write it another way until he wore them out and then he’d reach down in and out of a paragraph take three lines here, two lines here and uh cut through all the hypocrisy, the phoniness and and get right to the most important uh critical part of the speech. In later life he he

he didn’t uh you know, he lost his patience with that. But that didn’t stop him making great pictures.  Mhm.  Talk low. Talk slowly.  Michael Caine took the advice. Then he watched Wayne accept $100,000 to perform Shakespeare.  John Wayne. And I I I remember John Wayne. There was a big charity do. And you people were in the audience like millionaires putting up 50, 100,000 dollars for someone to do something.

And and someone put up 100,000 dollars for John Wayne to do to be or not to be from Hamlet. And John came out on the and they gave him the speech. And he didn’t know what it was, you know. So he went, “To be or not to be.  That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer this length and hour.

 WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?”  [applause]  40 YEARS OF WORK AND ON THE night he finally won it, the toughest man in Hollywood stood at that microphone and dropped his guard.  Wow.  [applause]  But then on that, I had to put that patch on 35 years earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m no stranger to this podium.

I’ve come up here and picked up these beautiful golden men before, but always for friends. One night I picked up two, one for Admiral John Ford, one for our beloved Gary Cooper. I was very clever and witty that night, the envy of even Bob Hope. But tonight I don’t feel very clever, very witty.

 I feel very grateful, very humble, and all thanks to many, many people. I want to thank the members of the Academy. To all you people who are watching on television, thank you for taking such a warm interest in our glorious industry. Good night.  Talk low, talk slow, don’t say too much. He gave that advice away for free.

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